Out for a Stroll

I am going to make a bold statement.  Any Mom who runs with their young children in a stroller deserves far more credit than your average solo runner.  Really.  Don't even get me started on those nuts who run with TWO kids in the stroller.  Seriously, how do they do that? It is amazing.  Ok, ok, I know they just make it work because they probably don't have a choice.  When faced with the decision of running with the kids or not at all I will choose running.  Especially while training for a marathon in which I don't have a choice. According to my training plan I am required to do a set amount of miles each day.  So I run with the kids some days.  That is a challenge.

The reason I say those who run with a stroller deserve more credit is simple.  It is hard. Really hard. Considerably harder than running without one. Let's just say the only perk with pushing a stroller is the built in cup holder.  My water is easily accessible without having to carry it in my hand or on my hip.  That's it, that's the big perk. It's not just the simple physics that make it so much more taxing.  Although obviously that does have something to do with it.  The stroller and my baby are both heavy.  Even though I bought the fancy shmancy-top of the line-so great I gave it a name-stroller.  (Worth every penny by the way!) It's still a pain in the butt. It's hard to find rhythm with only one arm free at a time.  Hills take exponentially more effort (duh!).  And you would be surprised to learn just how tricky those ramps leading up and down to access the sidewalks are at any speed above walking. My poor little one gets tossed around like a baby pinata! Well, these aren't the only issues. For me it is so much more.  It goes beyond the actual running and becomes a dynamic balancing act.

I have to do everything I can to create the optimal kid friendly running conditions.  Planning a route that will pique my sons interest to some degree is crucial. Or he will be whining to go home before we have even made it around the block.  It has to be the distance that I need for training and not too difficult for bike riding 8 year olds. I try to dress both kids appropriately for the weather.  I always pack a sippy cup, toys, and a snack for her.  For him I make sure to bring some water and make him go to the bathroom. The run must occur during a time of day when she has a full belly and preferably before nap time. Never during. That way while she sleeps I can shower and maybe even refuel.  I also have to plan for "quick" runs on the days with them.  This means 3 maybe 4 miles if I'm lucky. I just can't squeeze any more out of them then that right now.  The bribing and snacks can only go so far.

I spend most of my runs with the kids stressed out.  My mind reels. On solo runs I can look forward to a clear headed groove that I fall into somewhere around the first mile.  I listen to my breath go in and out, enjoy the music, tune into how my body feels and my form as each foot hits the ground.  With the kids I don't have such luxuries.  Everything is different.  Typically I have my 19 month old daughter in the stroller and my 8 year old son on his bike. Visions of my son crashing into my heels causing me to fall and let go of the stroller which then speeds off into the lake I am running around fill my head.  I picture the shocked expressions that would appear on the faces of other active people around me.  I hear the blurp blurp blurp of the stroller sinking.  Then I snap out of it and try to keep pushing forward into reality. 

There are always variables that come into play with these excursions.  Maybe she is in a fussy mood and doesn't want to be strapped into a seat.  Or she decides it will be fun to throw her favorite toy overboard and kick her pretty new blanket off.  She's done that on several occasions. In the past I would end up adding 2 miles to back track.  Now I find myself watching her like a hawk because if I don't run over it with the stroller then I won't know it's gone until we get home.  I can't afford to add mileage to these runs that are supposed to be "easy" days.  Also, feeding her on the run is nerve racking.  I worry that she will choke and I won't hear it. Or maybe I will end up having to rip her from the stroller to smack her on the back a few times....the stroller will speed away into the lake. (Everything in my imagination seems to end up in the lake). But I do it anyway.  Hey, a Mom has got to run, right?  I just try to keep the snacks to an emergency basis at this age.  The emergency being Mommy needs one more mile in today and you are squirming and crying making Mommy look bad in front of all of these other people.  That kind of emergency. 

Today I yelled for my son to keep up and he said "Oh, I almost ran into you Mommy!" So then I yelled at him to ride ahead of me.  I soon found myself at the mercy of his pace. Ugh.  I can't win, but at least I can try to keep from getting run over.  Listening to music is a no-go on these stroller days.  I have to be on top of my game mentally.  My son circles around me in his bike carelessly trying to engage in casual conversation.  Doesn't he see that I am trying to focus?  No, we are out for a stroll. Today he tried to ask me about what happened in China in 1941 if you had 2 daughters. My daughter pointed at the ducks and said "duck?" and then squealed for a drink.  Ah, quality family time, gotta love it.

We had to get over a lot of hurdles to reach this point.  At first my son would make it about a mile, get bored and want to turn back.  One time early on I tried to take him for a 3 mile run and he ended up in tears during the entire last mile.  Of course I responded like any loving and sane mother would by shouting at him to suck it up and keep pedaling because I wasn't going to carry his bike AND the stroller up the hill to get home.  Eventually he made it. So sympathy is not my strong suit.  At least not during a run. I have to admit, I feel like if I can run it then he can ride it.  

Recently I learned a new trick.  I say something like "after we go for a run we will...." fill in the blank with activity here.  This is NOT, I repeat NOT a bribe.  It will inevitably be something that we would be doing weather or not we would run.  But this way I can gloss over the fact that we will be running and give him something else to look forward to.  Now we are to the point where he asks literally daily if we will be going for a run (even though he always rides his bike he still calls it a "run").  He is genuinely disappointed if the answer is no.  Letting him help me pick the route has helped too.  He feels like he contributes to my training and is excited for the upcoming race.  He makes it through 3 or 4 miles with no problem now.  The only worry I have with him is that he'll run into the back of me....or ride into the lake.

Strolling is just not as easy to master. So far it's worked out ok.  But I still focus way more on my kids more than my breathing and stride.  I worry about the wind and sun.  If I pull the shade too low then she fusses to see.  If I pull it up she will squirm due to sun in her eyes.  When the weather is cold I feel like a terrible Mother for dragging my baby out in the cold just so I can stay on track with training.  Am I jepordizing her health?  Funny enough I have the same concerns on super hot days too.  Maybe I AM a terrible Mother.  Or maybe I'm just neurotic.  Maybe other Mom's out there pushing their double strollers with ease have none of the same concerns or challenges that I have.  Perhaps to them it is just like going for a stroll.  I doubt it.  Either way I give them WAY more credit than your average everyday runner.  Because strollin' ain't easy.  If my kids and I make it through training without a drop of lake water on us we'll be doing just fine!

Who you callin' a jogger, fool?

One week after signing up for the LA marathon I was still heavily in doubt of my abilities...Ok, so from time to time I am still in doubt. While talking to one of my neighborhood friends the subject of the race came up.  (Yes, I magically seem to drop how I'm a runner now into every conversation.  It's sick, I know. I just can't seem to stop doing that!) He said "Oh yeah, I saw you out jogging the other day."

Oh snap.

I had to check myself before I wrecked myself.

Now, I don't want to be one of those snooty RUNNERS.  You know, the ones that are better than you because they run.  They eat perfectly, because they run.  They don't ever drink alcohol, because they run.  They always wear workout clothes, because they run.  Lets keep it real.  I'm not better than anyone.  I don't eat perfectly.  I like to drink from time to time.  And I wear workout clothes because I am lazy and they were probably my pajamas.  But, I most certainly am NOT a JOGGER!

Why do I get so annoyed when someone calls it jogging?  I guess it just seems to imply that what I'm doing is easy.  Going out for a jog seems too close to going out for a stroll. That is never the case.  Even on my "easy" days which are 3 miles right now I feel like I am kicking my own ass.  Every day is a challenge. To the unsuspecting neighbor this may mean nothing.  But to me it means everything!  I'm sure he saw me running at a rather slow pace up the hill where we live.  And he thought oh how nice.  She's out for a jog with her kids again.  Nope.  Sorry buddy. I may have been trucking along at a pace that was closer to walking than running.  But, I still consider it running.

So what is a runner? I've given this careful consideration. I believe that if you have enough willpower and discipline to lace up your shoes regularly 3 to 5 times a week and cover a certain amount of miles then you can proudly call yourself a runner.  If you try.  If you have the desire to improve or work towards something. Maybe there are certain levels of running.  A beginner might cover 3-15 miles a week.  While elite runners typically cover 100 or more.  And everything in between.

Here's a good quiz.  Only a runner could pass.  Do you own more than one pair of tennis shoes?  Did you have to get a special pair of insoles? Did you get them at a specialty store where someone who is WAY too pumped up about running help you? Do you often get up before the sun?  Do you eat something called GU?  Are your quad muscles sore right now?  Are you aware of shin splints?  Do you need a special stroller and distractions for your little ones along the way?  Do you own a pair of headphones?  Have you ever been in a race? Is someone chasing you right now? Do you own non-cotton socks? I feel like this could turn into a "You might be a runner if,..."game.  If you answered 2 or more of these with a yes then you are a runner in my opinion. Not. I repeat NOT a jogger.  Joggers wouldn't require special socks and GU, right?  They wouldn't hobble around after their kids because it was a long run day. Certainly there are hundreds of more questions that could put one into the category of runner. This is good enough for me.

I know this isn't a definition that everyone can live by but it works for me.  If I am ever going to get through this training and across that finish line I am going to have to believe it.  Live it.  Own it.  I am a runner....but not in a snooty way, of course.  I know I am still not better than anyone.

Don't get it twisted

Note to self: Do not attempt to adjust back of tank top under fuel belt mid-stride while running in the bike lane.  This could end badly.

Well, now I know. That is a bad idea.  2 miles into my pre-planned 6 mile run yesterday I hit a rock.  My ankle twisted. Hard.  I shouted out an obscenity (Of course I did. I have the mouth of a sailor sometimes! I figure injury is a hall pass in that case.) No one was around. Well, except for the car that whizzed by just as it happened.  Boy did I feel foolish.  My marathon dreams flashed before my eyes.  My mind began to race. Here we go, I thought.  Two days of training and I have to wait out an injury.  Just when I was beginning to feel so capable.  The disappointment began to build in my heart.  The thought of having to call and wake my husband to have him pick me up was bumming me out.  I felt like a failure. How could I be so careless?  Why didn't I do the smart thing and walk while I fixed my clothing issues? My ankle throbbed in pain. Then I took a few cautious steps.

Relief flooded over me. Right away I could tell that this was not a serious injury.  It hurt like hell, that's for sure.  But, I could walk on it and put pressure on my foot.  And if I could do that then I could certainly run on it.  Could I run for 4 more miles?  That I didn't know.  But I would try.  Because that is what I set out to do when I left my cozy bed this morning.  One thing I know about myself is that I am determined and focused.  If my body is capable then my mind is willing.

So I started running.  The first quarter mile after twisting my ankle was uncomfortable to say the least.  But it wasn't enough to stop me.  I cursed myself for being so distracted.  Vowing to focus on the path in front of me and not make silly mistakes kept me going.  I thanked the baby Jesus that I didn't really hurt myself.  I successfully completed my 6 mile run.  In this instance it was the right decision to keep going. My ankle feels pretty tender today but is better than yesterday.  All I have to do is cross-train for an hour.  Tomorrow is a rest day.  By Friday I should be back to my regular self.

I am a rookie.  As a rookie I need to respect the fact that I am going to have to be extra careful.  My body will be tired.  My attention will wander.  I will occasionally feel overconfident and invincible as well as incapable.  I have to reign all that in. Preparing to run a marathon is a physical AND mental game. The last thing I need is for an injury to sideline my running.  Loving running is so new to me.  All things considered though...  After 6 miles and one twisted ankle.  I'm feeling pretty good.

Training Day

This is my new life.  It will be training day everyday, really.  Weather I am running, resting, cross training or just paying attention to what I'm eating.  Let the training begin.  I feel so excited to start.  My adrenaline is pumping.  Today I ran 2 miles and it felt amazing.  I feel like this is the perfect time of year to do something like this.  I'm ready to tackle this big mountain of a goal. Bring it on!

I will be running 4 times a week for pre-determined lengths on set days.  I will cross train once a week and rest the other 2 days.  My mileage will start out at 15 for the first week.  It will get as high as 40 on week 15 of my training (including a 20 mile run, yike-a-rooni!).  Then I will taper off in the remaining 2 weeks before the marathon to give my body some rest.

The training plan that I found is a tried and true method used by an expert by the name of Hal Higdon.  He actually teaches a college course that guides students, mostly first timers, through training and successfully running marathons.  I will not be taking this course for three reasons.  One, I live in Southern California and he teaches in Chicago. Two, even if I lived in Chicago I have 3 kids, a job, and a husband so my time is limited.  Three, why take the class when I can buy the book and sign up for support on his website?  That is exactly what I did.

The book is titled "Marathon, the ultimate training guide." How could I go wrong being guided by a book with a title like that?  I mean it says "ultimate" right there.  This book not only outlines precisely the steps I should be taking (no pun intended).  It also offers motivational stories, quotes, and tools that I will find helpful along the way. By the way, there was a "Marathon Training for Dummies" book. Wow! They make those dummy book for everything! But even I might be beyond that stage.  So I will follow good 'ol Hal's advice.  He has the distinction of having run about 100 marathons himself.  And I feel confident in my ability to follow a program that is so clearly laid out for me.

Off I go into the great abyss.  My life will be even crazier due to the fact that I am taking this on.  Once back at work I will be getting up at 4am at least 4 days a week.  Waking at 7am will be like sleeping in.  Meal plans will be made in advance. Sit ups will be done during our family shows.  I will be endlessly washing the 2 running outfits I have acquired over and over again.  And I will be changing myself.  Most importantly I will be changing the way that I think of myself.  I am a runner.--I NEVER thought I would say that.  Much less write it in a blog.  But, I am a runner.  And in 19 weeks I will be a marathon runner.  All of that while being a Mom, a wife, a friend, a sister and an employee.  Here goes nothing!  Tomorrow's plan is 6 miles.  I guess I'll see how enthusiastic I feel after a run like that!

Weight-Can I even DO this?

I ran just 2 miles today.  Well, let me be honest. I walked half of it.  My daughter was in a the stroller.  I had to get in a quick one while my son was at bball practice.  For some reason I thought I would be able to go for 3.  Not so much.  My shins started screaming before I even made it half way around the track.  My mind wandered.  I felt out of shape and pathetic.  That urge to slow to a walk was like a monkey on my back.  A really heavy monkey...unfortunately he won.

Now I am thinking- WHAT AM I THINKING?  Am I too fat to run a marathon? Will I ever be able to cross that finish line?  Will I be able to successfully train?  I haven't even officially begun training yet and already I'm in doubt.  Maybe this is normal?  Maybe it's because I am so new to the sport?  I don't know....Some days I feel better than others.  Some runs feel exhilarating.  Today was not one of those great-I can do anything I set my mind to-kind of days.

Today just started out poorly.  I had the genius idea of stepping onto the scale first thing this morning.  You see I have been feeling pretty good about myself lately.  I've been running regularly.  And, despite the fact that Halloween has just come and gone I am eating pretty well too.  When I examined myself in the mirror I could have sworn that my face was thinning out a little. My body felt like it was toning up more every week.  Then I stepped on the scale.  Why oh why did I do something stupid like that?  I think I might throw it away.  The damn thing is broken!  I swear I CAN NOT be the SAME weight that I was 3 weeks ago!

Ok, maybe it is possible. But really, my ego did not need to see that.  I wish there was some compartment in my brain where I could store such silly information as my current weight and BMI.  I'd lock it away and not think about it again.  But, alas, I am a woman.  No such thing exists.  For me it's something that I dwell on all day.  Or perhaps all week.  Sometimes I punish myself for the number I see by going on some stupid eating tangent.  Swearing that I'll start all over on Monday.  Other times I get so excited by the number that I reward myself and go on some stupid eating tangent.  Obviously, THIS has got to stop or I will be hovering around this same number for years to come! (For the record I am at least 40 lbs. overweight....still carrying that baby fat from my 18 month old. Oops. Guess I shouldn't have gone so crazy with the grape soda.)

Well, this madness with the scale stops here.  I am not going to weigh myself until the week of the Marathon.  That is about 5 months from now. Obsession with my weight needs to be replaced with focusing on my goals.  Focus on getting my ass, big or small as it may be at that time, across the finish line!  And who needs a scale anyway?  I was feeling pretty good without one. Proud of how far I've come.  The changes I've made so far are great ones.  It's only going to get better from here.  I love that my mindset has shifted from losing weight (let's be serious, this is the ONLY reason I started running in the first place) to actually going after something.  Crossing the finish line after 26.2 seems like it is a daunting task. But, I can tell you one thing...I'll run my ass off trying to get there!

The 5 mile mark

Today I ran 5 miles.  My goal was to run it in under 1 hour. I came in at 59 minutes and 23 seconds. The last half mile was at a gut wrenching speed because God forbid I not make my goal.  So I practically killed myself to do it. For the record I feel like I have no idea what I am doing.  I signed up for the LA Marathon (26.2 miles---yes, I am probably crazy) last week.  I've only been running for a couple of months.

One time I ran 8 miles. Maybe because I wanted to see if I could do it. Or maybe I wanted to see if I couldn't.  I felt amazing afterward. Like I could do anything...even though my legs felt like perfectly cooked spaghetti. I wobbled over to the car where my husband was waiting with our kiddos.  "Tracy Morgan just said I ran a 10k!" I exclaimed to them. At this point I had no idea how far a 10k even was (6.2 miles I think?)  I was just thrilled to have done one.  And found it funny that via my Nike app on the iphone I was able to get props from Tracy himself.  It was, and still is, the furthest I have ever run.

So what gives me the idea that I can go a whopping 26.2? I don't know.  What I do know is that I can't think of one good solid reason why I can't run that far.  Sure, I can think of a million excuses why I shouldn't be able to....I have 3 kids ages 14, 8 and 19 months.  I've never run an actual race. I have a full time job that I am currently on workers comp for and will have to return to at any moment.  (which means this dream of having time on my hands that I can spend running is almost over)  My husband and I work opposite schedules so that we don't have to pony up the dough for daycare.  This means I am at work by 4am on two of my work days. On those days he doesn't get home until after 10pm.  So hello up at 3am and alone until 11pm with all 3 kids! These are all great excuses.  And some days I will probably be tempted to use them.  But I don't care. I am going to run that damn race. If for no other reason then I can. I KNOW I can.

Now if I could just figure out what the hell it's gonna take to get me in shape enough to make that happen.  Maybe a trip to the bookstore is in order (Books! That's what got me into this mess in the first place!)  Do they have "Running a Marathon for Dummies" book? That would suit me well, I think.